Homophobia in the 21st Century

Transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia, and of course, homophobia. Oh, how terrified we are of people unlike us. Our hearts are filled with malice and resentment, with homosexuality being yet another outlet for our misplaced rancor. Homophobia runs rampant across the world with death being the most extreme punishment for loving another. Funny how we live in a world where everyone’s out for blood yet we ostracize those who choose to love. Surely love is a greater crime than, well, actual crimes.

Life imprisonment, death penalties, exorbitant fines: the price, in one case quite literally, queer people have to pay for living their lives authentically in some countries is outrageous. To say that this is an understatement would, well, be an understatement in itself. However, these are the more explicit displays of homophobia. I wish to talk about a kind of homophobia that only a fortunate few, so to say, have the privilege of experiencing. Subtle shows of homophobia. Why have I referred to it as a privilege one might ask, surely being a victim of oppression isn’t a privilege, I agree. But look at it in a relative sense. If one is under the guillotine for committing the oh so abominable crime of being queer, they won’t exactly be thinking about the slight disdain glinting in the eyes of their acquaintance upon encountering two men together, with their disapproval remaining unsaid. They would clearly have bigger problems on their plate, what with death looming around the corner. It’s only when we legalize and destigmatize homosexuality that we can move on to addressing the seemingly less harmful but equally lethal forms of the “phobia”, hence the usage of the word “privilege”.

We all know of ‘subtle’ acts of homophobia. The eye rolls, the carping stares, the unwillingness to accept queers, the heteronormative narratives. The “Oh, he’s gay?” with the concomitant expression of dismay. We’ve all seen it. It’s everywhere. But surely painting your Instagram stories with rainbows come June is a fix for it all.  It is, however, possible for one to brush off such incidents by adopting a certain indifference to the regressive and ingrained homophobia of the people in their lives. I’m not in any way implying that it’s easy, not in the least, for every jab stings, for some more than others. And it’s exceedingly important for one to remember that this kind of attitude leaves queers vulnerable, for it forms the foundation for them internalizing homophobia: something that is deeply rooted in persisting archaic attitudes about love and who we’re “allowed” to love.  In some cases, people are unable to just “brush off” what is said and they take the biases and criticisms that are projected onto them and turn it into a sort of self-hatred for who they are. This is lethal. In an age of self-love and accepting yourself for who you are, it’s simply unacceptable. You may not think you’re doing it but with your insensitive comments and callous attitude, you too, are sentencing them to death. You may perhaps have a closeted friend, afraid to come out, fearing what you might have to say about it. So be a little kind, perhaps pass on that “joke” you wanted to make about lesbians.

Every morning when you wake up, you are presented with a choice. No, I’m not referring to choosing between snoozing your alarm and choosing to, forgive the platitude, seize the day. It’s a different choice. One that affects those around you. You can choose to spew hate and go around picking fights with your buffoonish bellicosity, or you can choose to be kind, show that you care, and be accepting. Homophobia is ofttimes ingrained in us. After all, we’ve grown up listening to tales of Romeo and Juliet not Juliet and Julia. Our surroundings, the environment we grow up in, perhaps the parochialism of our elders, all of these factors affect who we are as people, maybe even our mindsets, and we are not to be blamed for that. However, we are to be blamed for being complicit and failing to battle our inbuilt biases. It is up to us to make ourselves aware of the homophobia ingrained in us and take an active role in fighting against it. You may not be able to convince your podgy uncle that it’s okay for a man to love another man, that’s alright, but at least convince yourself. It’s 2021. Let’s get with the times. Happy Pride Month.