My Experience as a Transgender Individual

By the request of the author, and the discretion of the editorial board, the writer’s name shall remain anonymous to protect their identity and integrity. We request viewers to respect the same.

When I realized that I would rather prefer being genderfluid than associating myself with a certain gender, I didn’t hesitate to come out. I talked to a couple of friends and assumed that my friends would accept me. The opinions of those outside my friend circle didn’t matter to me.

At first, when I was a little unsure about my gender identity, I went by she/they (genderfluid but mostly leaning towards female), and when I announced that, a lot of people asked me, “But you were already a ‘she’ so how does it matter?”. It’s true, I was already a “she” but that didn’t mean that the “they” was supposed to be neglected. She/they means you can refer to me either as she/her or they/them, but always referring to me as she/her would make it seem like my gender identity is being dismissed. Referring to me as they/them is equally important. 

After a while I realised how much better I felt when I was referred to as a boy, or compared to boys. I came out to my friends as transgender once I was sure. I started using he/they pronouns and when my friends referred to me as “he/him/they/them” it made me really happy. I never came out to my parents about this, but I told my friends to call me by a more masculine name. Most of my friends immediately dropped my deadname, while some took time to adjust. 

I announced on all my social media accounts that I didn’t appreciate being called by my deadname, and so many of my “friends” responded to it, saying things that unveiled their previously masked ignorance. “But why? It’s not like it’s changed on your birth certificate so it doesn’t matter if we call you by your deadname” and “We call our friends different names too, so if we call you by your deadname it isn’t such a big deal.”

When this happened, I first thought that I should just let it be and that maybe they were right. I started getting insecure and stopped correcting people when they referred to me as she/her or by my deadname.

Friends who supported me in every way possible, helped me get rid of those charlatans posing as friends who would simply refuse to acknowledge my transition just because of the facile thought that since I hadn’t gotten surgery I was “still a girl”. Eventually, I cut off all the transphobic people in my life.

I hadn’t felt this light ever since I came out, and it felt like a huge weight was off my shoulders. Knowing that there were people who supported me and corrected other people about my pronouns even when I wasn’t around, made me really happy. I couldn’t care less about people other than these friends, because their homophobic and transphobic “opinions” didn’t matter to me.

One of my friends added me to an LGBTQ+ group chat, and that really helped. I knew they’d always support me because we were all in the same boat. Though I doubt I’ll be coming out to my family anytime soon, coming out to my friends and knowing there are other people with similar troubles, makes me feel a little better. And that’s something.

-Anonymous